The Three Nice Guy No No’s

When we were growing up, being nice was important to people around us and our elders especially.  But if you noticed, that word nice changed to being respectful.  Some men get this, while others didn’t, thus the nice guy is born. The nice guy constantly struggles with dating because he always feels that girls want nice guys, however when they get one, they ignore them.  Lets explore three things that nice guys do to put themselves where they are: alone.

Being too accessible.  Its understandable that you like her, and that you want to spend time and be with her.  However, that doesn’t mean that you stop your whole life for her, especially when you are just getting to know her.  There are things you have to do, such as live your life.  So don’t adjust everything around for her.  I am not saying purposely ignore her, that would be rude, however, if she calls and you are busy, its ok to contact her back when you can.  If you have plans, its nice to rearrange them for her, however, if where you need to be is important, its not going to crush her heart.  Any respectable woman will want you to take care of your business, as she is taking care of hers.  

Being too nice. This is the one that has men frustrated a lot.  You are nice to someone, or they express to their friends that you are a nice guy, but you wonder why you are still single, especially when you feel you are being respectful.  Lets take a look.  First and foremost, if your female friends, or the woman of interest, is describing you as a nice guy, that mostly means that she either doesn’t know enough about you, or doesn’t have anything else to say that is more appealing.  

Next, being respectful and nice are two different things.  Being too nice can appear fake, or even be conceived as a push over.  Most people don’t want to be considered a pushover, because its thought of as weak.  Women don’t want a weak person as a mate.  Think of it this way, everyone loves to buy, but doesn’t want to be sold.  Think of buying as respectful, and being sold as too nice.  No one wants to be sold, because they feel as if they were duped, or a fast one was pulled on them.  People want to feel in control of things, and women are the same.  Remember they choose the man, thus they tend to not want a weak one.  Why? What if things are tough, and the family needs someone to hold it together, a pushover can’t really do that can they?  Im not saying that I haven’t gone down that path before, but I can assure you I will not again.  Will you?

Being too agreeable.  Have you ever met someone who just agrees with you all the time?  Didn't think so.  Even people who work for you, and you are responsible for their review and paycheck don’t agree with you all the time.  However, nice guys do this all too often and expect brownie points for it.  Remember, there is nothing wrong with disagreeing with someone, especially the person you like.  Just learn to handle her objections or difference in opinion well.  A few ways to do it are, to recognize her point of view, express to her how you see it is important to her, and then say you disagree or you feel differently about it.  This is important because you clarify what she said, and express that you see its importance to her.  When you explain your point of view, if you do (because its not always necessary to get your point across), say a few words and if she wants to explore it more, then so be it.  If not, no worries.  Remember its not about who is right or wrong, but that you truly heard each other out.