To Hug or Not To Hug

When greeting a friend, lover or someone you kind of know, and when you part, you can give each other a hug.  It’s a friendly gesture to show that you care.  While talking with some friends, we talked about what a hug means.  Does it just mean friendship? Does it mean something more?  So lets explore the different types of hugs, not all of them, but the most common ones that can help you know if there is something more or nothing at all.


Polite Hug.  This is the most common hug that happens at work (I suggest caution), or among acquaintances.  There is a fair amount of distance between you and the other person, and just a few light pats on the back.  This one can appear awkward with the arms wide and firm. They can also hug you with one arm doing the same thing.  A lot of times this isn’t a genuine hug, and can appear forced or obligated.  Most people, if they say so or not, don’t do these too much because of that reason.  I know one person in particular that makes it too obvious, therefore we just don’t anymore and that’s okay.

If this is on a first date or the person you want to be more affectionate with hugs you this way, then either you have a log way to go before they are interested in you or she may be just trying to figure if this works or not.  She is not comfortable yet or a nice way of saying, “this may be our last date” hug.

Friendship hug.  This is a genuine hug. When they hug you, it doesn’t feel awkward, or strange, and it’s a nice firm hug, with a possible pat on the back.  Its really a “lets be friends”, or “we are good friends hug”.  This also is the hug you get right after the “lets just be friends” or “we can still be friends” conversation, or before.  Don’t take it personally; just pay attention to the hug.

Squeeze Hug: They liked the experiences you just had or happened the last time you two were together.  This also can be an “I miss you” hug.  You get this hug a lot from people you haven’t seen in a log time and are genuinely happy to see you.  They are also excited for the time ahead.  This also means “thanks” and “lets hang again” hug.

Neckline Hug:  Can also be the “rest her head on your shoulder hug”. This is the one you want.  She feels comfortable, confident in you.  Can’t get any clearer that you are where you want to be.  There are clear feelings of some kind, and if you fumble the ball, it’s all on you.