So you Like it, But..

Have you ever talked with someone and felt that you had a connection, or felt that they speak really well?  That they have clear and nice way of speaking that flows easily and have the right things to say?  Most likely its not by accident.  Having good vocal skills is important in today's world, and using the right words is paramount.  At the same time, also transitional words are just as important.  The wrong way to transition can make yourself seem unsure of yourself or even show a lack of confidence.  Here are three words that you should avoid using incorrectly, to help you speak better.

Simple

Like.  This word is normally used to mean similar, or carries the characteristics so what you are describing. Like also means a fair attraction or resemblance of.  What like does not mean is a great space filler.  These days, the word like has replaces ah and um four times over.  we tend to use this word to prevent the person we are speaking with, giving us the opportunity to complete our thought.  It is used way too casually and makes you appear less knowledgeable and confident.  

Instead of using this word in between thoughts, sentences or ideas, just pause for a moment.  Pausing does give the person listening to you a chance to notice that you are making an important point, or reflecting on what you are about to say, which makes your conversation carry more confidence than using “like” two or three times before speaking.  

Sophisticated

So.  This word has creeped into the modern day vernacular, and constantly misused.  “So”, means to a great extent or an alternative to therefore.  However, if you pay attention, you can see it used in two ways.  First, when someone starts a conversation.  This is where I see this word most, and its used to draw your attention someone you are talking to.  Such as, “Soooooo,”.  

If you really need someone’s attention, you can call their name.  That usually works.  The second way “so” is used is a fill in word to change topics or direction of a conversation.  This may work sometimes, but most of the time, its just annoying.  “So” is different than its verbal cousin “well”, which is normally used to begin answering a question.  Why not just answer it? Well, I don’t know.

Classic

But.  Of all the words that can cause some serious damage in a conversation, without the person really knowing it, is the word but.  The essence of the word is to set apart from or present a contrasting opinion or opposition to what was said before.  This presents a harsher point to be taken by the receiving person.  Here is an example,  ever hear the words, “I love you but,”, or “you did pretty well this quarter, but,”.  

In some cases, but presents itself as to day everything before it doesn't matter or has little significance to what is said next.  This can make the person you are talking to become less engaged in the conversation or even more so set things up for a hostile conversation.  Instead try using transitional words such as, “yet”, “I also”, and “something else I noticed is…” are nice soft ways to help you change direction and introduce a different idea, while also respecting the other person.